Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Roughdraft two...
The reflection for the FIRST roughdraft is pretty much the same.
Our value is trying to represent doing the right thing.
We edited well for the time we had.
We need to fine tune the cuts and add some music.
We wanted feedback on whether it was TOO long and if so what they suggest to cut.
Our challenge was time. Our roughdraft could have been more refined if we had a little bit more time.
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the conflict was between a girl whos guilt got to her because she had cheated on a test.
ReplyDeletehere are shots, dialog and actions that contributed to the rising action
1.when students beging to leave the class
2.when the girl just stays in her seat
3.when the teacher asks if "shes ok"
4.when she looks like shes about to walk out of class.
here are some suggestions about adding to the rising action:you could leave and come back after school
you could also:have the teacher talk to you but about totally diffrent subject
the climax occured when:the girl decides not to leave and confess to the teacher.
in the resolution the teacher givesthe girl a chance to take a whole new test (make it seem to happy and easy like nothing really went wrong)
you could add to the resoulution by having it not her getting out the hook so easy this would help give us the idea that/create the impression that it seemed more realistic.
we especially like the classroom shot of then class and teacher because it helped emphasize the idea that we were in an actual school
we think that you might replace shot where the door is in view for a couple of seconds the new shot would be a short shot of the door for maybe 2 sec.
we rated the editing a 5 one edit we woulkd change was after the shot befire she has the daydream.
we noticed between the exiting shoit and the dayudream shiot you used stright cut we would have used a cross disolve instead to make it seemed like some time passed.
(no music)
no title
you guys could do a little less on some shot times and can improve on editing some sences
the credits were creative and done properly everything looked cited.
overall we tought your film coulkd use alot of room for improvements. what we liked the best was the message and classroom setting our strongest suggestion is that you could plan your plot better.
feedback given by Jorge Chavez & Alicia Fernandez
The conflict was between being honest and taking blame for mistakes. The shot of Alexis daydreaming contributes to the rising action because it shows the audience what she did. The climax occured when Alexis starts walking towards the door to leave.During the resolution we think Alexis is going to walk out and say nothing. We really like the close up shot of Alexis when the teacher asks how she did it. We can really see Alexis emotion and it emphasizes that she had done something wrong.On a scale of 1-10, I would give this video edit a 9.5. The story line was clearly presented but there was a few scenes that coukd use work. There wasn't any music in this draft but the silence gave off a realistic feel. No titles or credits were included yet. Overall we thought your video was creative and really gave off a good message. We really liked how your video gave off a realistic feel.
ReplyDeleteThe conflict was between cheating on the test or not.
ReplyDeletethe shots that helped add to the rising action were when there is a close up on Brenda and she has the guilt look on her face. Also when she stands at the doorway. The climax occured when Brenda was about to tell the teacher she cheated.
The shots okay and they need work. Cassies's voice-over when there's a close up on Alexis sounds a lot different than the tone of her voice that she uses the scene right before and it changes the mood and it is completely noticeable that it was not very well planned. We give you a rating of 7 on your editing. Try to have cleaner cuts and transtitions. Add a transition when Brenda has the flashback to indicate that it is a flashback. Use music effectively on your final draft add more to your title and credits. Good Job!
-Luis and Lizzy
The conflict was between taking responsibility and being truthful. Here are the shots that contributed to the rising action: the over-the-shoulder shot of the teacher and the guilty student in the begining, the close-up shot of brenda when she's day dreaming of how she cheated, the establishing shot in the begining when the teacher is talking, and then also the action Brenda uses when she bites her lip after the teacher keeps calling her name. Some suggestion you can consider adding to your video are that you can cut a little of the begining part of the scene where the teacher leaves the room. You could also aybe add some intense music fitting the setting when Brenda is cheating on the midterm. It would really set the mood. The climax occured when Brenda realizes she did something wrong right before she walks out the door. During the resolution, instead of giving Brenda a bad grade, she gives her another chance to make it up with detention to make her learn from her lesson. I think the resolution is perfect. I really liked how the group added the nice music at the end. It really concluded the whole video. The camera shots that the group used during the video worked really well. I especially like the close-up shot of the character, Brenda's face, after she finshes day dreaming from cheating on the test becuase it helped emphasized the idea of the emotion of nervousness and the "guilty" look. I feel it was a very strong shot because I could definately see how she really was scared and guilty of what she had done. I think that you might add a shot right after at the end when she walks out of the door. The new shot would be a medium shot look and the character Brenda as she's smiling that she got that consquence instead of something worse. The sunlight would be shinging on her face and the same music would be on when she leaves. On a scale 1-10, we rate the editing 7. One edit we would add was when she's day dreaming, your group should add another viewpoint from the camera towards the cheating happening so it wont be a constant shot just being shown. The only msuic shown in the video was at the end during the resolution. It was used to make the resolution strong and fulfilling. Even though there was no title, I really liked the end when the values shown on the video were presented and then the title of the video. Overall, your film was very good. Just some minor adjustments will help your video look good:)
ReplyDelete